Friday, April 8, 2011

The top 10 reasons YOU should date a gamer (girls only)

After glancing at the title, you're probably thinking, "Why is SHE giving out dating advice? SHE writes about celebrities." ...Yes, I know, I know. Dishing out dating advice isn't my forte, but this is something I've wanted to address for a while. And so, here it is....

Women constantly complain about men that "aren't s---," yet are never willing to give the nerdy/geeky/video game junkie a chance. After reading the following theories (built on my own experiences), scorned women will open their eyes and fully embrace the next gamer they pass (if not, they will at least acknowledge one on the street).

Here are my top 10 reasons/theories why women should consider dating gamers:
  1. They're faithful. You never have to worry about him cheating or sneaking around. He will be faithful to you and that console alone.
  2. You can trust him. He'll always be in the house playing games. He doesn't have time to sneak around and stick his (**clears throat**) thing (**clears throat again**), where it doesn't belong. I bet if you call him right now, he'll say he's playing "Black Ops."
  3. He'll spend time with you. Even if he's glued to that screen for hours, he eventually has to get up and pee, right? He'll look at you, smile, cuddle, go pee and get right back to his game, in that order.
  4. He will have sex with you. YES!! He will! If one of the two main components in his life is gaming, the other has to be sex and he has to be good at it. Come on...there are women with huge breasts in tight outfits in all types of games. He's know...feeling the moment right now.
  5. He will feed you. Of course, from time to time, there will be a span of hours (or days) when he hasn't stopped to eat, but he eventually will or he'll die. So, when he gets up to eat, he'll offer you food. There's nothing wrong with a free meal, right?
  6. He will get to know you. The confused reader asks, "What? What does this have to do with gaming?" Well, if you shut up, I'll tell you. ...In the first few weeks, he'll eventually grow tired of your cries of his excessive gaming. It is then that he will make an attempt to bond with you by asking you to play that random a-- game that you know you can't play whatsoever, or by digging deep into your interests and finding games that appeal to you. If that doesn't work, he will (at the least) alert you when a cool part of the game comes up.
  7. He'll stay out of trouble. And this doesn't only apply to being faithful, this also has a social aspect to it. If your man lives in the 'hood or a rough patch of town, for example, he can easily be influenced by the streets, plain and simple. What other way to guarantee that he's not doing illegal s--- than by knowing with certainty that he's making deals with a merchant on "Resident Evil"? Hey, at least they aren't actual drug deals.
  8. Parents will think of him as a nerdPLEASE NOTEThis theory can apply, but may not always suit, either one or both parties. Here is why: Parents that think of the glass as half-full will say: "At least he's not out in the streets. He must be a respectable man to have stayed in the house all those years with his mother and obeyed her rather than running around like a fool. My daughter needs a respectable man like that." Not-so-positive parents (**clears throat**) will think of your boyfriend as lazy and a slob for sitting in front of the tube all day. But at least he is faithful and honest. I mean, many of our parents are either separated or divorced. Why couldn't your dad or mom have been playing "Rainbow Six" instead of breaking everybody's hearts? See what I'm saying?
  9. He won't be abusive. The only things he's "hitting" are clueless bystanders on "Grand Theft Auto." He won't be touching you.
  10. He'll always love you. If you can tolerate his obsessive yet intuitive gameplaying, then he will always hold a spot for you in his heart. A wise person once told me that it's the things you don't do in a relationship that make a man proud.
Dedication: To @AirTag_Ion: Thanks for nearly 6½ years of gaming and bliss. I love you.

Peace and Love.  :)

Photo via Nerd Locker


  1. Best blog post I've read in a LONG time. Girls, take note!

  2. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

  3. This is quite the article. Now if only I could find some excuse as to how I found this page... I'd get all the ladies!