The media tried to demonize me. They wanted yall to believe I was a monster in real life, so you guys wouldn't listen or buy my music anymore. I feel like they were waiting for the opportunity to go in all the way on me and when it came, they beat me to a pulp. Even now, a lot of articles start their first two paragraphs about how much of an asshole I am.
I accept the idea (ideal) that perception is reality. When I say perception is reality, I mean whatever you think is the truth...is your truth. Some people's truth is 'Kanye is racist....' It's not my truth, but I do believe it's my Karma. Walk with me....
Even though the NBC telethon was widely praised, yall didn't think they was just gon' let me get away with that, did yall?! With the help of strong will, a lack of impathy, [a little] alcohol and extremely distasteful and bad timing, I became George Bush over night.
How deep is the scar? I bled hard. [I] cancelled a tour with the number one pop star in the world, closed the doors of my clothing office [and] had to let employees go; for the first time, I felt the impact of my brash actions. I felt the recession from an ownership side. People booed when I would go to concerts and the performer mentioned my name. Remember in 'Anchor Man' when Ron Burgandy cursed on air and the entire city turned on him? But this wasn't a joke. This was and is my real life.
There are people who don't dislike me...they absolutely hate me! I was chilling with this white girl, having a conversation, and she cut me off and said, 'Hold up, I thought you didn't like us?!' That's when you realize perception is reality. I've been straying from this subject on Twitter, but I have to give it to you guys raw now.
If you Google 'asshole,' my face may very well pop up two pages into the search. Some people say, 'Why worry about the haters?' This is bigger than just the concept of haters. I have a mission in life to bring truth and beauty through my music and the visuals that anchor around it. The media has successfully diminished the 'receptive' audience of (3rd person) KANYE WEST; [by] taking a 15 second blip, the media has successfully painted the image of the 'ANGRY BLACK MAN'--the King Kong theory.
I [was] the guy who at one point could perform [with] Justin Timberlake on stage and everyone would be sooo happy that I was there. People tweeted that they wished I was dead.... No, listen...they wanted me to die, people. I carry that. I smile and take pictures through that. I wear my scars.... It's almost like I have to wear a suit to juxtapose my image and I won't lie...IT WORKS!
I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that's so beautiful and I want her to have it. If she won't take it, then I'll perform it for her. She had nothing to do with my issues with award shows. She had no idea what hit her. She's just a [little] girl with dreams like the rest of us. She deserves the apology more than anyone. Thank you Biz Stone and Evan Williams for creating a platform where we can communicate directly. We're both artists and the media and managers are trying to get between us. Everyone wants to capitalize off of this in some way.
I'm ready to get out of my own way. The ego is overdone... it's like hoodies. I know there are family members, friends and fans that have literally fought for me. There are people who have named there kids after me.... Can you imagine that next day in school (even though I don't have kids)? I am responsible for those who love and represent me and what they have to deal with on a day-to-day basis, defending 'The American Psycho.'
I watched Justin Timberlake at the Grammys loose every televised award including Album of the Year, which the Dixie Chicks won. I would have ran on stage for Justin that night because 'Sexy Back' (in my mind) was that important... that impactful to our culture.
It's not about race, America. No one in our position ever stands up and says anything anymore. I have given my awards to other groups multiple times on national TV, [yet] they never showed that this past year during The Massacre of Kanye.
Who's seen the play Wicked? I've seen it four times! Other than loving the music, acting and costumes, it's my story! The Wicked Witch of the West is so convicted to tell her truth that when she does it, she is outcast by society and turned WICKED.
With a new found humility...who am I to run on stage? I would never ever again in a million years do that. Sorry to let you down. It is distasteful to cut people off as a general rule. What's the point of dressing tastefully if I'm going to act the complete opposite? Yes, I was that guy. A 32 year old child. When I woke up from the crazy nightmare, I looked in the mirror and said 'GROW UP KANYE.'
I take the responsibility for my actions. I am not a bad person. Even in that moment, I was only trying to do good but people don't always need my help. Beyoncé didn't need that. MTV didn't need that and Taylor and her family, friends and fans definitely didn't want or need that. These aren't regular tweets, this is stream of consciousness. I want you guys to know and feel where my head is at. It feels like the movie 'Heat' when you wanted De Niro to make it.... You want the bad guy to make it. These tweets have no manager, no publicist, no grammar checking... this is raw. Humanity and Empathy are two of the four principles at Facebook. Those were the two principles I was missing on that evening.
Why are there so many tweets? Well, this isn't a simple subject. There are layers to this beyond me running on stage. You've got the top layer: Kanye's rude (if I speak in 3rd person, it's because I'm quoting people; sometimes, I forget to put the quotations...you know my grammar #ITSAPROCESS). You've got a layer of order. This is how things are [supposed] to go this is how it's always been, etc. You've got a layer of: What is reality? You really want this guy to die over an award show?! Wooooooow.
You've got the Media play. Who benefitted off of the moment? MTV? JAY LENO? BEYONCÉ? ALL FORMS OF MEDIA? TAYLOR? KANYE WEST? Who gained? Who lost? Walk with me people.... Let's break this down, for real, now (I might get in trouble again lol). WHO BENEFITED FOR REAL PEOPLE?! A year later, where do we stand?
There's a layer of...'Hey, Kanye said what I was thinking.' There's a layer of...entertainment. We are entertainers and this is only TV, not the War.
Why was it made into such a race issue. Taylor loves rap music, I love country music. TAYLOR LOVES RAP MUSIC, I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC. When I write songs like 'Heartless,' I always say 'Is this melody good enough to be a country song or a Broadway song?'
I've hurt, I've bled, I've learned. I only want to do good. I am passionate, I am human, I am real. I wish I could meet every hater. I wish I could talk to every hater, face-to-face, and change [their] opinion of me, one conversation at a time. I wish they all knew how much I really cared about music and pop culture and art and people's feelings. I wish they could accept that I've grown and only want to do good for the world. I want to help as many people as I can. I want to help, starting with the music and ending with the smile. I want to win [their] hearts back, so I can continue to bring my take on culture to the masses with a clean opinion.
...It starts with this. I'm sorry, Taylor.
No comments:
Post a Comment